Tuesday, September 17, 2013

My Dear Daughter

{{39 weeks}}
My Dear Daughter, 

For 39 weeks now I have carried you around with me every single day. In the beginning it was rough and then after 14 weeks you were so good to me. :) Now were in the end and I can tell were both ready to have you in my arms. We found out you were a girl at 15 weeks, I was so excited and nervous to be excited knowing we would be 100% sure at the next appointment -when 20 weeks confirmed it we were thrilled and in shock and still are but no matter what we love you. 
 I remember the morning I found out you were growing inside of me. We were still in Haiti at the time and your Grandma Karen, Uncle Caleb, Aunt Megan, and Levi were visiting. 
The night before I found out -your Daddy was telling them how bad he wanted us to have another baby especially a daughter. 

He was praying that God would bless us with another child. He was praying for you even before he knew.  I was praying too that if it was the Lords will He would allow it to happen. I was trusting that God knew what was best for us. 
So when I took a test on January 21st I was surprised but not really.. shocked in a little disbelief but yet I was so excited and I couldn't wait to tell your Daddy, the boys and our family visiting.
I waited all day though I wanted to tell right away. I waited til the evening during our family worship and devotion time with Cohen and Conrad before bed. I had the camera ready to capture your Dads reaction. We were reading about Adam and Eve and I asked Cohen what was Gods punishment to Eve for eating from the tree. ((looking for the answer "she would have birth pains" )) when he didn't answer me I said 

"Eric how then did God punish Eve?"
His reply
"She would have pains in child birth.."
"Yep! And so will I in nine months!!!" 

you can imagine the "what no way" and the ongoing excitement as we celebrated together. From the time you were so tiny growing inside me we were thrilled. 

We have been singing to you reading to you and praying for you everyday, for your health, your life, your future, your relationships.. (yes I am already praying for your husband) most importantly we pray that you will know, love, and follow your creator, and heavenly father Jesus. 

You have two amazing big brothers, Cohen who just turned three asks me about you everyday he kisses you often and wants to pull up my shirt to feel you moving around, he is so wild and a little impatient right now, he wants to know when you are coming out..?? ( me too :) ) He says "Mom did they cut your baby out yet?" or "Did the baby come yet?"I keep reassuring him that I will let him know when you are here. Conrad who is just a year and a half older than you- he is the one laying on you so much he says "baby" and will wrap his arms around my belly or lightly tap it. 

You move around so much my dear and for the last couple weeks every couple days I think you are coming. Seriously I think you are just as wild as your brothers.. I can't wait to meet you. 

I love you so much already and I can't wait for you to be here in our arms. I can't wait for you to meet your Daddy. He is so amazing and will be such a good father to you and the best example of a Godly man.  I can't wait for you to meet Cohen and Conrad they are going to be so in love with you and probably kiss and hug you too much. You have wonderful grandparents that are so excited for your arrival, along with lots of aunts, uncles, cousins, and friends. 

I am a little scared to have not only three children but a daughter. I hope that you always see your self for the beautiful person that God made you to be. I hope you always know the value of your life and how much we love you. I hope as a mother I can be your best friend, but also be such a good role model to you of a Godly woman. 

I am waiting for you and praying for you. Whenever your ready so am I. I love you so much and I can't wait to start our mother / daughter journey together. 

-love your momma 

p.s. we do have a special name picked out for you and I can't wait to hold you and call you by your name for the very first time. I love you so much. 

"your are fearfully and wonderfully made"
Pslam 139:14

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